Posts filed under ‘Pets’

Dog and Cat Diaries

Not that I would know, but I think cleaning closets probably results in unearthing treasures you’ve totally forgotten. Cleaning out old computer files is the closest I come to cleaning closets, and usually occurs when I’ve got other, less appealing, though higher priority work to do.  And so it is tonight.

In my cleaning, I stumbled across a bit ‘o pet humor to share with you. I wish I had written this. Please forgive the “forwarded email” indications. Procrastination allows me to reread old computer files, but not to remove “>” symbols, apparently. What discipline, eh?

__________________

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY

> > > > Day number 180
> > > > 8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > >
> > > > Day number 181
> > > > 8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > >
> > > > Day number 182
> > > > 8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 0:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
> > > > 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > >
> > > > EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
> > > >
> > > > DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
> > > > objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
> > > > cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
> > > > mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
> > > > Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
> > > > feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
> > > > of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
> > > > oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite
> > > > chair… must try this on their bed.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
> > > > attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
> > > > fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
> > > > good little cat I was…Hmmm.  Not working according to plan.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason
> > > > I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
> > > > burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent
> > > > such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
> > > > between my teeth.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
> > > > placed in solitary throughout the event.  However, I could hear the noise
> > > > and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call “beer..”  More
> > > > importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
> > > > “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it
> > > >
> > > > DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
> > > > snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
> > > > return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to
> > > > be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
> > > > my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety
> > > > is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

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September 1, 2010 at 8:10 pm 1 comment

Chocolate Dogs and Cakes

I could write about chocolate every day. But this week I’m limiting myself to one post on chocolate.

Chocolate Topic #1

We have a new dog! When you see her picture, I hope you get the reference to chocolate.

This is Dharma, adopted from our local humane society. She is a two year old, 39 pound Chocolate Lab mix. Still not sure what the mix is. We are her third family and can’t help but wonder if she was harshly treated because she has taken awhile to stop flinching when someone makes a sudden move toward her.

Dharma is sweet and goofy like most Labs, but not hyper and destructive like Marley.

I can absolutely verify that she does not smell like chocolate.

I’ll admit I had been hoping that our next dog would have spin-able fur. Unfortunately, there will be no Dharma yarn forthcoming. But I do love having a dog with fur that doesn’t tangle.

Ahh…felt-free dog.

Chocolate Topic #2

Here’s your reward for hanging with me through the dog fur and dog smell discussion. Real chocolate.

If you are a WordPress user, you might have seen this featured on the front page. I can’t believe I’ve never seen this idea before–single serving chocolate cake microwaved in a mug. I lifted this recipe from ovenhaven’s blog and can’t wait to try it, though I’ll probably put my cinnamon in my coffee instead of in my cake.

Five-Minute Chocolate Mug Cake
(adapted from here)

50g dark chocolate
3 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons plain flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
3 tablespoons sugar
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk

  1. Melt the butter and chocolate in a double boiler. Set aside to cool.
  2. Add flour, ground cinnamon and sugar to a small mixing bowl, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and mix well. Add the melted chocolate and mix again.
  3. Pour the mixture into a large microwavable coffee mug. Microwave for 2 minutes on medium, 1 minute on high. It should be cooked (skewer test comes out with moist crumbs), but still a lil moist. Remember, it will continue to cook while standing.
  4. Allow to cool a little, give yourself a pat on the back, and indulge!

It’s good I have the dog to help me walk off this recipe, since I can see this becoming a summer dessert fav.

• t •

July 19, 2010 at 11:54 am 5 comments

Exit Stage Left

Last Saturday one of my cast members left us.

Little Murray, our Pomeranian, succumbed to his congestive heart failure and had to be put to sleep.  The vet asked if we’d like to keep a clipping of his hair. Not necessary. I’ve got a gallon ziploc bag with soft, downy undercoat I’ve been saving to spin.

With four cats underfoot, it’s harder to notice the lack of one little furry body. And he had only been with us for four of his seven years. But our doglette will be missed.

Murray Post-bath

8 Pounds of Freshly Bathed Fluff

June 4, 2010 at 11:32 am 3 comments

Cat People Already Knew About This

May 15, 2010 at 10:16 am 3 comments

I’m Dying to Try Natural Dye

The yard is bursting with dandelions and guess what? I found a very nice list of natural dyes on the web. But wait. There’s more!

I also found a great dye pot at Goodwill just yesterday. Price: $2.99. Someone must have given up on canning tomatoes. :-) Of course, I put it down to take a pic and immediately the inspection team showed up. Well, at least the younger members of the inspection team.

Newton in dyepot

Newton in the Dye Pot

Basted in dyepot

Bastet in the Dye Pot

Now if I could just send them both outside to pick the dandelions.

Oh wait, that’s what kids are for, right? ;-)

In fact, I remember my 2nd grade teacher announcing one Spring day that we were all going lion hunting that afternoon. Imagine the excitement! Imagine the trepidation!

Imagine the disappointment when we were all given bags and taken out to the school yard to pull the heads off the dandelions. Well, it wasn’t total disappointment. After all, we all got outside on a sunny spring day instead of being cooped up in the stuffy classroom.

April 28, 2010 at 8:59 am 3 comments


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