Dog and Cat Diaries

Not that I would know, but I think cleaning closets probably results in unearthing treasures you’ve totally forgotten. Cleaning out old computer files is the closest I come to cleaning closets, and usually occurs when I’ve got other, less appealing, though higher priority work to do.  And so it is tonight.

In my cleaning, I stumbled across a bit ‘o pet humor to share with you. I wish I had written this. Please forgive the “forwarded email” indications. Procrastination allows me to reread old computer files, but not to remove “>” symbols, apparently. What discipline, eh?

__________________

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY

> > > > Day number 180
> > > > 8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > >
> > > > Day number 181
> > > > 8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > >
> > > > Day number 182
> > > > 8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 0:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
> > > > 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > > 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
> > > >
> > > > EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
> > > >
> > > > DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
> > > > objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
> > > > cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
> > > > mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
> > > > Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
> > > > feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
> > > > of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
> > > > oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite
> > > > chair… must try this on their bed.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
> > > > attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
> > > > fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
> > > > good little cat I was…Hmmm.  Not working according to plan.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason
> > > > I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
> > > > burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent
> > > > such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
> > > > between my teeth.
> > > >
> > > > DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
> > > > placed in solitary throughout the event.  However, I could hear the noise
> > > > and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call “beer..”  More
> > > > importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
> > > > “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it
> > > >
> > > > DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
> > > > snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
> > > > return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to
> > > > be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
> > > > my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety
> > > > is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

Washing Clair’s Fleece to an Early 70′s Tune

It hit me last week that I’ve still got four Shetland half-fleeces to wash this summer while I can dry them in the hot sun. No problem, right? After all, it’s only August. Plenty of summer left.

Ahem…

This is the maple tree in my backyard…two weeks ago. As of today the leaves are falling. Yikes.

So, I’m on the wool washing. Yesterday a manky fleece from Clair went in to soak. This time I got smart and turned up the water heater. The whole time I kept singing, “Clair / If ever a moment so rare / was captured for all to compare / that moment is you / and all that you do…” Don’t worry. I had to look it up too. Gilbert O’Sullivan, 1972. Here’s the YouTube video.

Clair came out looking like a million bucks. Well, maybe a million bucks that had taken a roll, roll, roll in ze hay. There’s still a lot of vegetable matter to be dealt with. But take a look at the lovely locks. Who’d have known there was white wool under all that grease and dirt?

Besides the VM, Clair came out with another problem, for which I could use the help of an experienced wool washer. Some of the tips were SO caked with filth, that they came through the entire scour with only moderate improvement. Voila:

For now, I have separated this junk with plans to wash it again. But, short of manually scrubbing it out, I’m not sure another soak will get it clean. Ideas?

And if there are any shepherds reading, why does the softest fleece always seem to have the most VM to pick out? Or is that one of those perception things, like how the sweetest apples are at the top of the tree, or the biggest berries grow on the thorniest branches?

• tess •

New Gadget for Spinners

I think I have invented a new spinner’s gadget. Well, “invented” sounds a little grandiose, I suppose. Mostly I just improved, and optimized, and ornamented.

I made an orifice hook (do we really have to call it that?) and combined it with a pair of folding scissors and then came up with a functional way to attach them both to the wheel, so they are nice and handy, and look lovely, and are still detachable, all at the same time.

But, a picture (or four) is worth a thousand words. Here are my first designs, now for sale on Etsy.

I’m having way too much fun coming up with new bead combinations for these. Seriously. Way. Too. Much.

But enough plugging my wares. Here’s my homespun life update:

Currently on my size 19/15 mm needles: fishnet shawl (I’ve only had this yarn & pattern for a year)
Currently on my wheel: Angel, a heather gray shetland (she’s going to be 2-ply when finished)
Current audiobook for crafting: 1984 by George Orwell (no, I never read it in school)
Current reading book: The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (wow)
Current ingredients waiting in the kitchen: limes, sweetened condensed milk and graham crackers to make a (not so) Key lime pie.

Shall we all agree not to talk about what’s on our current to-do lists, aside from the fun stuff? :-)

So, what’s on your needles and in your kitchen?

• tess •

How High’s the Water, Mama?

Well, it was 1-2 inches in our basement one week ago. It’s been a long week of throwing out and drying out, and we’re still not finished. :-(

We were actually very lucky compared to the other 18,000 homes that had flood damage in our metro area. Much of the stuff in our semi-finished basement only got wet up to its ankles and a lot of it was safe in plastic bins or stored up on shelves including (drum roll please) all of my fleece (insert cheering crowds here).

I can’t capture the smell here. You’ll just have to use your imagination…

Here’s what the best-dressed flood clean-up crews are wearing these days…

That’s me, rockin’ the Wellies and bleaching everything in sight. Mostly the area rug was in sight this day.

It pains me to say that our 10-year record of flood-free basement has gone down the drain. (I suspect it pains you also, to read this terrible pun.)

• tess •

Yarn Bowls

IF i love yarn AND i love handmade pottery, THEN i love, love yarn bowls. And i do.

I also love soup. Which goes in bowls, preferably of the hand thrown pottery variety. But this post is not about soup. We’ll get to that next winter. Cross my heart.

I could describe a yarn bowl in words, but it’s better just to show you and let you have the pleasure of going, “Ah-ha!”

Julie Knowles Pottery

Dorothy Domingo

Common Stone Pottery

Center Hill Clay Works

Yes, gentle readers, if you’ve ever yanked a ball of yarn and then chased it under a sofa (or chased the cat who chased it under the sofa) you will understand the function of a yarn bowl.

Sure, I can make a frugal yarn holder from an empty coffee can with a hole cut in the lid, but aren’t these beauty-ous?  These are just four of the many others I found on Etsy. If anyone is looking for a birthday/Christmas/Etsyversary/just-because gift for me…need I say more? I probably needn’t, but I will mention that Common Stone has the CUTEST little paw print pendant. ;-)

• tess •

Chocolate Dogs and Cakes

I could write about chocolate every day. But this week I’m limiting myself to one post on chocolate.

Chocolate Topic #1

We have a new dog! When you see her picture, I hope you get the reference to chocolate.

This is Dharma, adopted from our local humane society. She is a two year old, 39 pound Chocolate Lab mix. Still not sure what the mix is. We are her third family and can’t help but wonder if she was harshly treated because she has taken awhile to stop flinching when someone makes a sudden move toward her.

Dharma is sweet and goofy like most Labs, but not hyper and destructive like Marley.

I can absolutely verify that she does not smell like chocolate.

I’ll admit I had been hoping that our next dog would have spin-able fur. Unfortunately, there will be no Dharma yarn forthcoming. But I do love having a dog with fur that doesn’t tangle.

Ahh…felt-free dog.

Chocolate Topic #2

Here’s your reward for hanging with me through the dog fur and dog smell discussion. Real chocolate.

If you are a WordPress user, you might have seen this featured on the front page. I can’t believe I’ve never seen this idea before–single serving chocolate cake microwaved in a mug. I lifted this recipe from ovenhaven’s blog and can’t wait to try it, though I’ll probably put my cinnamon in my coffee instead of in my cake.

Five-Minute Chocolate Mug Cake
(adapted from here)

50g dark chocolate
3 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons plain flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
3 tablespoons sugar
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk

1. Melt the butter and chocolate in a double boiler. Set aside to cool.
2. Add flour, ground cinnamon and sugar to a small mixing bowl, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and mix well. Add the melted chocolate and mix again.
3. Pour the mixture into a large microwavable coffee mug. Microwave for 2 minutes on medium, 1 minute on high. It should be cooked (skewer test comes out with moist crumbs), but still a lil moist. Remember, it will continue to cook while standing.
4. Allow to cool a little, give yourself a pat on the back, and indulge!

It’s good I have the dog to help me walk off this recipe, since I can see this becoming a summer dessert fav.

• t •

Depression Era Precociousness

This week DD and I picked up DVDs from the library for evening viewing. Yay, cheap entertainment! DD picked out Kit Kittredge (the movie based on the American Girl doll) and the 1982 classic, Annie with Carol Burnett and Albert Finney.

Notice a theme here?

By sheer coincidence we’re have a movie marathon of depression cuties (THAT depression, not THIS depression), beginning with the cute and precocious Abigail Breslin as Kit, followed by the cute and precocious Aileen Quinn as Annie.

I will be singing “The sun’ll come out…tomorrow…” all day tomorrow.

Strangely, I am now in the mood for more depression-era entertainment (an oxymoron?) but with not so much cuteness all up in it.  I need some suggestions. Leave me a comment and tell me what I should watch next.

• t •

While You Were Out…

…I sneaked in some dying. :-)

The remainder of No Name, the mystery Shetland went gold and raspberry, got carded together and spun up into this yummy, summery color I call “bowl of fresh peaches”:

And then it went on Etsy and sold. Just like that. How cool!

Here are some pics from the dying process.

The dyes used were Waratah and Broome from the Australia Landscapes brand, ordered in small sample bags from Wind Rose on Etsy. I really loved working with the Landscapes dyes. They are simple to use and Wind Rose’s sampler bags makes it easy to try out different colors.

With No Name pretty much used up, I’ve moved on to my next dirty Shetland half-fleece, Angel. You’d think with a name like Angel, she’d be pure white, right? Wrong. Apparently this ovine is a fallen angel. Her fleece is white, all shades a gray, and a touch of rust. Here’s how she looks spun up in a two-ply.

I’m thinking of giving this a dip in some pink or maroon dye, what do you think?

The PVC niddy-noddy in the pic came from another Etsy seller, Whispering Acres. I love my fellow Etsians, and I LOVE my niddy-noddy. It came with 3 sizes of center bar so I can make 1, 1.5 or 2 yard skeins. Plus it comes apart for storage.

I swear, none of these Etsy sellers asked me to advertise for them!

• t •

Socks Do Not Knit Themselves

My first knitting self-challenge for this year? Socks.

Score thus far? Socks – 0, Attempts – 2

(Please pretend you didn’t notice that it’s June already and I’m just getting to my first 2010 knitting challenge.)

I’ve got the yarn. I’ve got the double-pointed needles. But I can’t seem to get my swatches to match my pattern gauges. I’ve been changing needles and changing patterns. Heck, I even tried changing yarn. When I finally did get the gauge to match, I did the cast-on, divided the stitches onto multiple needles and attempted to join the last stitch to the first. By that time I had needles dangling in odd directions, huge spans of yarn stretched between needles, and–to top it all off–I’d lost track of what was happening on T.V.

So, why knit socks when I can buy a pair for $1.25 at the dollar store? (Yes, I know. Everything at the “dollar” store costs $1.25.) It’s just a knitty thing, I guess. Like, you can’t call yourself a baker if you’ve never made a cake from scratch, and you can’t call yourself a knitter if you’ve never knit socks.

I have a new plan, though.

Silver’s Online Sock Class is going to lead me through my socks, step-by-step, with LOTS of pictures. Sock it to me, Silver.

Rhubarb–How I Love Thee

Oh frabjous day! It’s rhubarb cobbler time!

When we bought our house, it came with a single rhubarb plant in the backyard. That was the deal-clincher, I think.  Shortly after moving in, I planted two more rhubarb plants. Just enough to keep one family in rhubarb cobblers during spring and fall.

My love affair with rhubarb began as a child visiting the farms of aunts and uncles in Northern Iowa, where rhubarb doesn’t just grow, it conquers and dominates. Resistance is futile. So, no one really cares if children break off a stalk and munch on the crispy veggie, pulling it apart fiber by fiber, like so much string cheese, puckering at its crunchy tanginess.

In Missouri, where I grew up, rhubarb lives a less abundant and more precarious life in the clay soil and southern heat.

But now my yard is in the northern land. The land of ice and snow. And rhubarb.

Here’s my very favorite-est recipe, handed down from my Iowa aunt and godmother, Joan W.

Rhubarb Cobbler
Grease a deep casserole dish. (Mine is like a 9″x9″ but with high sides.)

Finely chop enough rhubarb to make 4 cups and set aside. (NOTE ADDED 6/13/10: If you’re short on rhubarb, or want a less tangy taste, try substituting chopped, fresh apple. It works great!)

Then combine into a batter (I do this right in my greased casserole):
1 c flour
2 t baking power
dash of salt
1/2 t nutmeg
1/2 c sugar
2 T oil (I use canola)
3/4 c milk
1 t vanilla (optional)

Batter goes into the casserole, then sprinkle the chopped rhubarb evenly over it.

Finally, heat 1 c water until very, very hot (or boiling) and dissolve 1/2 c sugar into it. Pour this over the rhubarb and batter. (No, really. Trust me. This will work.)

Bake at 400 degrees F for approx. 35 minutes, until bubbly all over and the top and edges have begun to brown slightly. Serve warm or cold. A scoop of vanilla ice cream makes this a transcendent experience!

Here’s how mine looks after it has cooled slightly. It’s still too hot to eat here, or else you’d see parts missing.

Rhubarb Cobbler...Life Just Got a Whole Lot Better

Do you have a rhubarb recipe? story? complaint? Let’s hear it!  If it doesn’t fit into the comments, you can e-mail me at: coldhandswarmart [at] yahoo [dot] com and I’ll try to work it into another post.

• t •